issue for domestic violence
victims.
fear that their abusers will carry out
suicide threats after the relationship
ends. Victims who are parents also
may fear losing their children if they
try to leave.
stuck in domestic violence.
partners who abuse them, and
abusers may apologize and act
lovingly in between violent incidents,
so the people who suffer abuse often
want to believe that their partner
will eventually change.
abuse them
or if they've become isolated from
family and friends (as many are,
since abusers tend to try to control
their partners using isolation) they
often worry that they won't have
the economic or emotional resources
they need to support themselves
and their families if they leave.
shatter victims' self-confi dence,
if they simply don't deserve to be
treated better in a romantic relation-
ship--so they won't bother trying
to leave the one they already have.
Or, they may feel so worthless and
they could ever attract the love
of a healthy romantic partner.
violent romantic relationships.
faithfully obey God's call to forgive
those who hurt them, they must
reconcile with the people who abuse
them--even though reconciliation
isn't necessary to forgive, and
reconciling is unwise when abusers
haven't repented and changed.
If victims are married, they may
believe that since God designed
marriage to be a lifelong relation-
ship, they should stay married no
matter what--even when they're
being abused. Sometimes they
mission in marriage as a command
to do whatever their spouse de-
mands--even though God never
intends for people to submit to
sinful behavior like abuse.
tion in your efforts to help people
you know who are caught in domes-
tic violence situations. If you remind
yourself of how challenging it can
be for people to leave and acknowl-
edge the reality that some will never
leave--you can avoid the temptation
to give up your efforts to help, and
approach each situation with grace.
By being patient and nonjudgmen-
tal with victims, you can earn their
trust, which will put you in the right
position for God to work through you
situations, you can still do a lot to
help them right where they are,
especially if you rely on God to guide
you in the process. So the next time
you're in contact with someone
who's suffering domestic violence,
tell the person honestly that you're
concerned about her or his safety
and want to do whatever you can
to help. But also assure the victim
that you will respect any request
to keep information that she or he
shares confidential. Make sure the
person knows that she or he can risk
being completely open and hon-
est with you about the situation.
thoughts and feelings with you.
The gift of listening is precious to
someone who is dealing with pres-
sures of navigating domestic vio-
lence. After listening, refrain from
judging and instead promise to
pray about whatever the person
has shared with you. Finally, offer
to help in any practical ways that
might make the victim's life easier,
such as providing a meal, childcare
or transportation when needed.
safely open up to a caring person
about they're going through. With
God's help, you can be that person
for someone!