Dear Stuck:
You're not alone. A 2011 Barna Group
survey found that, overall, 70 million
Americans (31% of adults) feel "held back
or defined by something in their past."
A painful past could include broken
relationships, poverty, lack of opportuni-
ties, discrimination, loss of loved ones,
mistakes or failures on our part, poor deci-
sions, bad judgment, abuse of you, or of
others by you. It could include sickness,
war, being given up for adoption, disap-
pointments, prison time or a combination
of events.
Some advocate "letting sleeping dogs
lie," as in the past is past and we should
move on. However, for too many, the un-
resolved injuries or felt injustices from the
past are like wounds that have not fully
healed; when someone gets too close to
them, the pain breaks through the layers
of time and demands our attention.
Our past can be like a millstone, a
weight, around our necks. We may be
functioning, even successful people on
many levels, but we are not reaching our
full potential. We can only go so far, we
can only do so much before our past im-
poses it's large, dark shadow over us.
We need to deal with the past. Face
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it head on. Identify those things
from the past that may be af-
fecting you negatively today. If
there are serious issues, and you
are sincere about addressing this
concern in your life, professional
assistance may be needed (i.e.:
counselor, psychologist, etc).
Accept responsibility. If you
did something wrong, if you hurt
someone by your words, actions
or lack of action, own up to it. Where
possible, and where appropriate, make
amends. If someone hurt you, depend-
ing on the seriousness of the injury and
whether it's appropriate, gently talk to
them about their actions and resulting ef-
fects on your life.
This does not apply to more serious
offenses, such as murder, physical, spou-
sal or child sexual abuse, to name a few.
Extreme caution and guidance by pro-
fessionals trained in these areas is very
necessary.
If your pain/lack of progress can be
traced back to situations beyond your
control (i.e., poverty, lack of opportunity,
death of loved ones, etc), acknowledge
that this was life happening to you. Noth-
ing can be done now to change those
things. What can be changed is your re-
lationship to those things. Become aware
of your attachment, your attitude, your
occasionally surfacing sadness or anger
at these things. Actively work at letting
go, rejecting their presence in your life
today. Disarm, render powerless these
things from your past.
Most of all, forgive yourself. Forgive
yourself.
Don't go through this alone. Turn to
Jesus to help you through this. Listen for
the Holy Spirit's direction. Trust God Who
specializes in redeeming broken lives.
Adopt the attitude of the Apostle Paul
daily and "press on toward the goal to
win the prize for which God has called me
heavenward in Christ Jesus!' (Phil. 3:14).
Dear Wanting:
This is such an important question, as
you are wanting to find a way to improve
your times spent communicating with
God. The only prayer God will answer for
the unbeliever is the sinner's prayer seek-
ing salvation. Once you have accepted
Jesus Christ's payment for your sins and
given Him the reigns of your life, God will
hear your prayers. Make sure you are on
solid ground here.
A vibrant, deepening experience with
God can involve many different factors,
such as singing favorite choruses to be-
gin your time together or reading a verse
or chorus from a song in the Salvation
Army Songbook.
Some people keep prayer journals in
which they list their prayer requests, date
they began praying and responses. Oth-
ers keep prayer lists or pray for specific
things according to the days of the week
(Mondays�family, Tuesdays�friends, etc).
Whatever variations you feel like incor-
porating, there are some basics of a good
prayer life. They include: Have a regular
time (guard it!), have a regular place (Not
your bed!). Be real, but respectful--talk
normally to Him (no "thees" or "thous"
necessary, and acknowledge your true
feelings to Him). Finally, be expectant.
Have a pen and pad ready to jot down
what the Creator of the universe may re-
veal in your time together!
27
The War Cry | JANUARY 2013
Dear Aunt Sally:
What can I do to have
a better prayer life?
-- Wanting More
Dear Aunt Sally:
I feel like my past is holding
me back. What can I do?
-- Stuck
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12/14/12 12:03 PM