"
Q
uick, Doc, I need that prescription!"
I feel like shouting.
I'm sitting on an examining
table, all alone. I'm feeling a draft
because of the fl imsy paper robe
they had me put on. I have a sus-
picion that they are laughing at me down at the
nurses' station.
I don't know why I always have to go through this
whole procedure; I already know what's wrong with me.
I've had sinus infections before. I get them about two or
three times a year.
Unfortunately, I have to come to this doctor's offi ce and
jump through hoops just so I can get a little slip of paper
signed by a physician (whose penmanship is horrid). I
then have to take this paper to my pharmacist, who will
decipher medical jargon so that he
can give me the magic potion that
will make me feel human again.
Writing the prescription is the
only thing in this Groundhog Day-
esque affair that I can't do for my-
self. Even if I knew the name of the
drug I needed, I don't have the legal
authority to get it.
In all seriousness, I'm
very thankful for modern
medicine. A hundred years
ago, I'd likely have to take
some kind of home remedy,
or just ride the sickness out.
Even in
the last 10
years or so
there has
been more
progress in
combatting
disease and infection than in any
other period in history.
I have a suggestion for a drug
someone should invent. How about
a pill that makes you forget every
stupid thing you've ever said or
done.
Or here's another: an ointment
that--when spread over the "abun-
dant" areas of your arms, thighs,
hips, etc.--turns them into lean
muscle again.
Sometimes I think what I really
need is a panpharmacon: a medi-
cine that cures everything.
In my 60-plus years on this
earth, people have infl icted home
remedies on me that were thought
to cure everything.
Cod liver oil was one such sup-
posed cure-all. My grandmother
swore by it. I think she reasoned
that if I were willing to choke down
two tablespoons of that slime, then
I was in fact sick enough to miss
W W W . S A I N T E R S E C T I O N . O R G
� N O V E M B E R 2 O 1 5
authority to get it.
In all seriousness
very thankful for mo
medicine. A hundred
a
a
ago, I'd likely have t
some kind of home r
or just ride the sickn
t
t
t
th
ye
th
be
pr
co
disease and infection than
other period in history
`
Patient,
HEAL
Thyself!'