gan, the fifth and last
child of loving, hardwork-
make me happy��horses, dance, gymnastics, skiing.
I tried just about everything to fit in but I never felt
a part of anything��never smart, skinny, pretty,
popular or athletic enough. I never felt enough.
cause I wanted to be a teacher. When I was 19, I
was swept off my feet by a professional poker player
who was almost 15 years older. On our first date,
we flew to San Francisco for dinner. I felt special.
I began a life with him, drinking, traveling, and
thinking that I finally fit in. When I turned 21, I
started working as a cocktail waitress, sometimes
making more than $500 a day. I felt set.
and a sauna, a motor home, a rich
boyfriend, and a brand new jeep, paid in full. And
I was miserable.
was also quite the drinker so the bottom quickly
approached. My parents were fed up and kicked
me out. After sleeping at friends' apartments, I de-
cided to go home, admitting that I needed help.
I was an alcoholic and suffering from a nine year
eating disorder.
I didn't want to look stupid. I bought a Bible, but I
didn't make it past Leviticus.
As I read, my heart softened. At 11 p.m., after the
and read beneath the covers. Tears were running
down my face as I experienced a God who loved
me. I read Jesus' words in John 8: 12: "I am the
light of the world. If you follow Me, you won't have
to walk in darkness, because you will have the
light that leads to life." He loved me just the way
I was. I didn't have to be the prettiest, the skinni-
est, the smartest, or even have the nicest things.
I finally fit in. I was enough.
uted food boxes and offered assistance to people
in need. I went back to school to become a coun-
selor and met my wonderful husband, David Paul
Kauffman. A little more than a year later we were
blessed with our first daughter. I next worked at
the Army's Pathways, a mental health group home
for those who are homeless and struggling with a
just bought a beautiful house, had two cars and
attended the Las Vegas Corps, helping out with
Junior Church, Bible studies and other programs.
When cadets from Crestmont College visited the
corps, we realized God was leading us to become
Salvation Army officers. We were commissioned
as officers eight years ago.
trying to find a place to fit in, and I found it��The
Salvation Army. I have made it my life's mission
to help others find that same peace that was so
freely shared with me.